~ Written
about fifteen years ago ~
Last
year was full of commitments and responsibilities. The phone rang incessantly. Now I
work at home, alone--and wish they still needed me to teach, write, counsel... anything.
Why did I resign? Did I misunderstand God's guidance?
Last year I missed the precious days alone with my
King. I longed for quiet. Now I am free to study, write, meditate and delight in my best
Friend. Then why this restlessness? O God heal this ache inside me! I feel worthless,
useless, a failure. What did I do wrong?
A memory flashed across my mind, interrupting my
thoughts. I recalled a splendid grapevine stretching its limbs in the Israeli sunshine.
Its long branches, heavy with ripening fruit, rested on rocks, inches above the ground.
I am a branch of better Vine, I thought to myself.
Through the cross, I have been joined to Jesus Christ Himself!
He is that whole Vine: root, stem, sap, branches,
leaves and fruit -- everything! Each part is of and from Him. Separated from the Vine,
the parts would die, for His life alone gives strength and sustenance.
Since I am part of that wonderful, eternal Vine, the
sap--His cleansing blood and life-giving Spirit--flows through my every cell, washing,
healing, nourishing and building.
Harvest comes and goes. Each new season brings changes. Last year, my fruit was taken
and my leaves
died, leaving my branch empty, dry and lifeless. At least, so it seemed. Worse yet, the Vinedresser
pruned away my long shoots--the very ones that looked most promising and produced the
sweetest grapes. Ouch! That hurt! Only a stump of a branch remains. I feel
broken, ugly and useless. Not long ago I felt so productive and competent; now I am
reduced to total inadequacy. What happened?
The Vinedresser knows. If left, those long, strong
shoots might still produce lovely leaves in abundance--but little or no fruit to the glory of
the Vine. The deeper He cut, the more I would depend on the Vine alone. Stripped bare, I
turn my heart fully back to Him, my only source of lasting strength, delight and fruitfulness.
The Vine felt the pain of the pruning with me; for what
cuts me, cuts Him as well. Together, we hurt, weep, heal and grow. Then, He gently
points my mind toward our common purpose. In
and with Him, I must prepare to produce nourishing fruit--not beautiful foliage.
Again I rest in the all-sufficient Vine, confident that
His life flowing through me will bring a new crop. I simply believe what He has shown me
about Himself and surrender to Him. His life never fails!
Teach me
to trust your plan, precious Lord, while you cut, prune, tie and guide. Mold me into a
branch that is fully surrendered to you -- always resting in the abundance of your
life-giving strength. For it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me!
Apart from You I can do nothing. Thank you, beloved Vine, my Lord and my King.
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in
me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God,
who loved me, and gave himself for me."
Galatians 2:20
See also:
John 15:1-17;
1 Corinthians 12:12-31; 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, 4:7-11; 1 Peter 4:12-13, 5:10-11.
